It’s time to build a more intimate woman-to woman relationship with your little girl, at a special talk and many ongoing ones.
The Six M’s for pre-puberty girls:
- Modesty: Dressing with dignity as you grow in womanhood and beauty helps avoid the problem of provoking the eye of disrespectful men. Enhance feminine beauty without drawing attention to your body parts so men will see you as a person rather than a body with parts he likes. The purpose of a bra is to support, protect and cover, not show off. Keep all private parts and covered without slits, short skirts, short shorts or peek-a-boo, tight or see-through clothes. Disrobing is saved for the wedding night. She must work to keep her mind pure from sexy movies, magazines, websites, romance novels and TV shows. Her modesty in dress and speech protects her purity and chastity.
- Menstrual cycle: Normal process to prepare for motherhood, not a sickness, usually not painful. Happens monthly from puberty to menopause, stops during pregnancy. Purpose of cycle (preparing uterine lining) is fulfilled during pregnancy. How to use sanitary supplies. Celebrate this privilege of womanhood and fertility together. Improve diet to prevent PMS. Discuss fetal growth and development using pro-life materials if you haven’t already. Discussion of conception is optional until puberty if she doesn’t ask.
- Men and women are different: Each gender has different gifts. They see life differently and have different emotional responses and methods of communication. Be observant of this as she sees boys and girls become men and women, so she’ll be more understanding later. The girls will be physically mature before many of the boys in their class, and the girls who start chasing boys early are not the ones who end up with the best marriages.
- Mary, our model of meekness: The Blessed Virgin Mary is a role model for women. She was not aggressive, obnoxious or gossipy. Remind your daughter that she will see many girls become louder and more immature when they physically develop if they do not know that a girl has to work spiritually to become virtuous. Meekness is inner strength without impulsiveness. Look to Mary, your heavenly mother, for guidance.
- Moodiness: When the hormones start accelerating, she will find herself struggling with moodiness. Instead of making excuses for her hormones, it’s time to strengthen her will so as not to live by her whims. Be sympathetic that she will not recognize or even like herself some days during big hormone fluctuations. Understandable, not excusable. A good diet without chocolate, caffeine, junk food and sugar will reduce the mood shifts. A deeper prayer life will draw her to Christ and His mother during the confusing times.
- Marriage is a vocation that God calls many people to. Not all are called to be married. Pray to know God’s will for your future. For now, develop your talents, skills and virtues so that you will be prepared for life. At the right time, God will send you the right mate. Don’t rush it yourself. Marriage is a sacrament that gives the couples His grace to grow closer to God through their lifetime of marriage and lead one another to heaven.
Copyright 2000. Dr. Coleen Kelly Mast. Respect, Incorporated (877)673-7732
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